What Respect Means in BDSM Erotica

I enjoy writing BDSM erotica. It is hard to explain but something happens when you move fantasies from your mind onto a page. It is a little intoxicating and scary the first time that you do it. Erotica also creates a release. Penning an erotic story is not unlike an orgasm in a way. You have the same kind of build-up and release.

I am very picky about erotica that I read and enjoy. If you are going to sell me a steamy tale, I expect to be titillated. I expect to find your hero or heroine desirable. I expect to be drawn into your story, to want every part of their romance. When it comes to my own specialty, however, I am even more demanding. I do not just want the romance and excitement. I want the realities of the lifestyle as well.

No, you do not have to make me sit through six months of negotiations as a Dominant considers a potential submissive. However, I expect for that to be represented in some way. I expect the safety and sanity that is so important in the lifestyle to be respected, understood, and at the very least hinted to the reader.

I am not forgiving when I find BDSM erotica lacking in that regard.

Emily Ryan-Davis came highly recommended to me and finding myself with a few minutes between assignments, I decided pick up some of her stories. Because of my obvious interests, I chose a few of her BDSM erotica titles.

Claiming Lauren

Lauren Brant is beautiful and wealthy, and not exactly happy in her marriage. She arranges to meet with a mysterious man she only knows as Master, to enjoy a night of submission to him. When it ends, she is left with a lingering need. She returns home to find her estranged husband has returned, for reasons unknown, and does not know what to do with him.

Erotica among the rich has always been around. On one hand, we as readers always enjoy a salacious tale about the wealthy. It does not matter if it is a politician’s sex scandal or a bored socialite’s kinky dabbling. We love this. For writers, the wealthy open up opportunity. They tend to have time to spare for dalliances. They can afford the luxuries that help to enrich erotica.

What struck me in the story was the care and attention paid to the lifestyle. BDSM is not merely in the story for the kink factor. It is an integral part of the story, and its protocols are paid attention to.

Yes, Lauren is going off to meet a mysterious man for a night of rough sex. Worse, she never sees his face. This is a fantasy. Of course, he will be mysterious and unseen.

What brought me into the story was the first page and the week of instructions leading up to her meeting with Master. That care hinted at a longer online relationship (about 2 years as we learn later). When she finally meets up with him, he respects her safety and her fears, slowing down or pulling back when her responses are outside the bounds of her submission. In other words, Master responds to her as a Dominant should respond to a submissive.

Cornerstones

Throughout the story, the ideas behind safe, sane, and consensual are felt. Davis took care not only to know the lifestyle that she wrote about, but also to present it honestly. That is a tall order for people, whether rich or not, who need and desire anonymity to be themselves. She does it well, even handling the secrecy often found in BDSM circles with believability and respect.

In setting that respectful tone, I found myself drawn into her story and bound by the emotions of her characters. They respected me, and I cared for them. I wanted to see them through to the end of their tale. That it was erotic, exciting, and titillating was icing.

Very sweet icing.

 

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Holle Dolce is an erotica author as well as being a content contributor on StreetWraith Press After Dark. You can find out more about Holle at her blog On the Scene.

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